Bebe - 20 weeks

Dearest little love - this week you are as long as banana (from head to heel), and weigh about 10 and 1/2 ounces. Also, this is the "half-way" mark of pregnancy, assuming you come after cooking for 40 weeks.



I just wanted to remind you of how blessed you are, even in the womb. This week was my birthday, your momma is now 27 years old, and I was surrounded with support and love - amazed at all the people who really love me, and who can't wait to meet you.



First of all, there is your Daddy. I really could go on for days about his love, but here are some specific ways that he was extra helpful and caring this week.

• He made extravagant plans to take me out for my birthday to a lovely Italian restaurant. In the future perhaps you will understand the way your father and I have worked very hard to be frugal so that we can provide the lifestyle we want for you - one that includes a home and security in the Lord - but he was willing to put aside his preferences to eat every meal outside of the house for under $10-15 and make reservations at a place that we assume would have cost at least $50 for one nice meal. It is times like this that make me realize the wisdom in "it is the thought that counts." Truly, money is tight, and we are anxious to live differently so that we can do things we have previously only dreamed of, but the way your father was going to set aside his fears of the future, his fears about not having enough money, so warmed my heart. It was honestly so loving of him to sacrifice himself in this way, my heart was just overflowing. In previous years, perhaps i would have enjoyed a night spending money to celebrate my birth, but I decided (with help of my great love for Mexican food) to suggest eating at a local Mexican restaurant in order to be "more relaxed" as well as a bit more comfortable and "in step" on a Friday night. But your father's love was impeccable. He gladly let me choose a place to eat - and luckily, we both had a delicious dinner.


• While we still don't know if you're a boy or a girl, this might be hard to fathom that men don't like shopping much. Your father is no exception, however, on Saturday, he kindly sat through me trying on at least 25 items of clothing, to kindly critique each piece as if it would be suitable for me to wear to work for the next twenty weeks. His love has made him a very good student, and therefore he knows even better sometimes than I, what I will enjoy wearing, what I will pick out of my closet time and time again. His knowledge was completely useful in wading through the items in the store that would be useful, relevant, and work appropriate. He was so kind in delivering his wisdom, so as not to hurt my sometimes waning self esteem. Daddy is a good man.


• While he doesn't like shopping, your sweet father has been helping me find the perfect business shoe. Being 5'8, I strive to wear flats most of the time in the office, and my shoes had worn out. We had already tried at least three stores together, and your father had been looking at shoes on other women's feet for at least three weeks, when on Sunday, today, he suggested we go in yet another store. His desire to save money and find a good product doesn't stop him from wanting to find the "right product" - indeed, I tried on at least 8 pairs of shoes looking for something that was reasonable in price and would work well in the office. He is so helpful at the store, letting me know what he thinks, what works best, and when to move on to the next pair of shoes. You will be so blessed by this desire to save money - because I believe it will directly benefit you in the ways of financial freedom, intelligence, and independence in the future. You are blessed and will be blessed.


• We are always searching for a good job for your father, and even when we spend time reading in a bookstore, he is looking for books that will increase his knowledge, give him ideas for the future, and help him, generally in the investing and business section of the store. I gravitate towards the section of the store that relates to you, my dearest little, pregnancy, childbirth, and other relational activities. Sometimes we are so very typically "male and female" as God made us. On Sunday, however, we were talking about the process of birth, and how it will be important to be a team on the day you come into the world, and he gladly read three chapters of a midwifery book to help himself prepare. I'm so blessed!! You're so blessed!!

You have a wonderful father, I'm so excited for you to meet him. This week we also had an ultrasound at the Dr's office. Your Mimi came with us, it was so great to share the miracle of you with her - she's so kind and sweet. I'm "finally" beginning to feel your movements, which is such a blessing, each time it is a little reassurance that you're doing well, and I'm so grateful for that.

On January 20th, your cousin, Ignatius James was born. It was such an exciting story that is all his and his families, but it makes me more excited and more ready to have you come and be with us. Your daddy was so good at holding little Ignatius, I couldn't help but think of the moments when he will be holding you, making sure that you can hear his heart beat so that you're assured someone is with you at all times. God is so faithful! We also learned your Uncle Zach and Aunt Aubree are planning on moving to Australia, we will pray often for their hearts and their great adventure.

I love you little one, and I can't wait to meet you!

Love,

Momma

Bebe - 15 weeks

Dearest Baby,
I am so excited to meet you. I have known about you since September 23rd, knowing that you were growing and developing, and praying that as much as you will hear about your big brother Gabriel in Heaven, that you are not in a rush to hurry and see him.
I wonder what you will look like often - your daddy suggests that he wants you to have my blue eyes, but I love his brown eyes so much, I know that I would be happy with either color, or even your Grandad's green eyes. Your eyes will be beautiful regardless of what color they are. I wonder if you will have freckles - like me, or the light creamy skin like your dad - but this too is already determined and known by God, but not by me. Will your hair be blonde, brown, or barely there at all? All of these things are just the external parts of your body - what I am most curious about is your heart, your personality, what you will love, and how God will use you to further His kingdom. I can only wonder as you grow who you will be and how you will find your passion to love Jesus more.
We are in the midst of a wonderful season of waiting in the Catholic Church, that of Advent. I am excited to celebrate the birth of Jesus, but I know that my realy Christmas gift is you - I have wanted so long to be pregnant at Christmas - to have a connection with the Mother of God in a time that she was carrying the Savior. It is so exciting to me - I hope one day you understand. Grandma Punches reminded me that next year our lives will have changed with your arrival, and with God's grace, you will be our chubby little baby at Christmas. I am so excited to hold you and kiss your little head. Any time now, my body will be able to sense your body kicking - I am so excited for that movement, that little confirmation that you are in the womb.
I found a calendar of Grandma's from the year that she was pregnant with me, and I remember distinctly finding the day she told her Mom that she was pregnant with me, I thought it would be fun if you wanted to know what dates we shared the delightful news of your pending arrival with our family.
We told Grandpa Keys and Mimi (Dave and Vickie Keys) on November 15th (2010). They were so excited and thrilled to be welcoming a grandchild! Aunt Lindsey and Uncle Eddie are expecting Ignatius in January, so it will be awesome that your ages are close together. On November 24th, we drove to Kansas to be on the farm for Thanksgiving, and we told Grandad and Grandma (Pumphrey) that you were arriving. They were both so excited - knowing that we had dreamed of this day for quite some time. (Your Grandad's preference for babies is that they are bald and fat, in case you were wondering. Luckily, as a baby, your momma was both.) On Thanksgiving(11/25/10), we told Grandma Ellen - who I believe screamed in excitement for 5 minutes straight. She was so excited, and it was just beautiful for us to know concretely of her utter excitement. We proceeded to tell the rest of the family - and then on December 5th, we told the rest of our large church family, the teens we volunteer with at Incarnate Word. They were beautifully excited, and I have felt continually blessed and supported with the excitement of our community - I pray and hope that you will feel the love of the Catholic Church in the same way that I feel the love of the community at Incarnate Word. God has been so faithful in giving us this community to pray for you - yes, the teens have been praying that we would be able to have a child for quite some time, and you are an answered prayer.
I hope you know deeply someday how much I love you and have dreamed of your arrival. I am so grateful for God for this gift and responsibility - I want to please His heart above all, and then to please your Daddy - I love being his wife, and he is such a good husband - he is diligent at taking care of me, making sure I don't lift anything that is too heavy, and being completely understanding of my increased desire to sleep often, even when he wants to talk to me. He is so funny, and I am so thrilled to watch his parenthood unfold.

Dearest Baby, please continue to grow strong, and know that we love you and that God loves you.

Love,

Momma

Incarnate Word

To be honest, I dreamed about a place like this when I was young. A place filled with people who wanted to love Jesus, who accepted me for who I was, who wanted the best for me, and thought that being holy was something to be admired.



A youth group.



Growing up in the middle of Kansas, I always wanted a community of people who loved Jesus and were less than my mother's age....although I love my mom, and her best friend...they are so wonderful, and I want to be just like them. As a sixteen year old, it was difficult to relate to their state in life as married women, to mine, as a single young person.



It was like when your big sister got a Barbie for her birthday...you knew someone who had exactly what you wanted, but you didn't have it, and you couldn't really go to the store and get it either. I had awesome opportunities to glimpse at what community life was, and yet, never had the community myself.



My college, the fantastic one and only Franciscan University of Steubenville, changed everything. I had community, people to challenge me, people to love me for who I was, people who loved Jesus and wanted more people to love Jesus. It was so wonderful!!

While attending, I always thought that I couldn't "handle" youth ministry....until I spent a summer at St. Mary's in Hudson, Ohio. They know how to love. And they loved me to pieces. I wanted to be a better person, I wanted to love the way they loved, I wanted to learn about Theology of the Body, I wanted to be even more holy...and stay there forever.


God had bigger plans....he brought me to a similar community in St. Louis - the Church of the Incarnate Word. Praise God. Let me just tell you these teens know how to love Jesus, and they know how to love me. They really are changing the world, and I have so much faith that they will change their families, change St. Louis, the United States, and the World. They've got it.

I wanted to share from time to time what I'm really passionate about - youth ministry - and things we do to get our teens to come to Mass, to come to a "Lifenight." Then, hopefully, I'll tell you what worked and didn't work with our teens. Maybe this can work in your youth group, maybe it won't...but you can decide!

This weekend we would love your prayers as we welcome the "new freshmen" into our high school program. These young people just graduated eighth grade and now have the opportunity to come on a retreat to discover what Incarnate Word is all about. I love that we get to spend the entire summer with them - loving them, inviting them on retreats, getting to know their names, their high schools, their personalities!! The retreat is called "T4" for Timothy 4, a chapter in the bible that speaks directly to the young people. To be specific; 1 Tim 4:12 "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." How awesome that we welcome teens with this in mind. "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young!" Doesn't it just remind you of Pope John Paul II's call to youth? "Be not afraid!" Honestly, I don't get to be the biggest part of this retreat because the high school teens themselves lead the retreat - they give the talks, lead the small groups, etc. It's great to see them in the leadership position!!

Thanks for your prayers and have a delightful weekend!!

Who do you thank?

Who do you thank for your freedom?

I have so many men and women in my life that have given so much to our country, protecting my freedom - my true freedom. How beautiful is our life? Who do we thank for the blessing of being in a country with so many resources and so many opportunities? May we always praise God, and... our service men.

My grandfather, Lyle Baird, served in the Navy. God rest his soul.

My brother, Andrew, served in the Marine Corps. One tour in Iraq, one tour in Afghanistan. God, bless his soul.

My brother, Scott, is currently serving in the Navy. What a blessing to know he is keeping our seas safe. I love how he has never forgotten how to tease and have fun. God, bless his soul.

My brother in law, Ryan, served in the Air Force. And he makes the bed in the morning. Praise God for his service.

My brother in law, Tony, serves in the Army. He loves my nieces and nephew with tons of kisses, hugs, and discipline. Praise God for his service.

Who do you thank? Thank God. He has given us the blessing of having men who love us so much that they will give up their everything to allow us to live as we want.

Blog blog blog

Blog, blog, blog, like a bump on a log!!

Okay, so I haven't been blogging, but now I think of it as unfair to anyone who might want to read my little ramblings about my life - because I've found so many AMAZING things in the blog world recently, so many of my acquaintances have started sending out beautiful, amazing things, and I keep thinking, "I know I couldn't do anything as great as Natalie, Anna, Ree (Pioneer Woman), but gosh, it would be so wonderful to have a place to document my life!"

So, I don't mind if you don't read, I'm going to use this as a place to talk about the ups and downs of my life, document what it's like to live with one fabulous husband, and someday, my little babies that God has picked out for me will be able to read about what it was like when they were only a prayer in my heart!

I would love to learn more about photography - I just haven't made a big investment in an awesome camera, and I'm hoping it's not necessary! We've been looking for a house for almost a year, and dreaming about what we could do to make it awesome - so we watch a lot of DIY network, HGTV, and try to find out how to replicate our favorite looks. I also follow a couple of great blogs!!

Okay, anyone who is reading this who wants to offer ideas or suggestions is completely welcome! Here is my life!!

Celebrate!!

Wow, it has been so long since I even posted a blog. I'm hoping that eventually, when we have kids, I update this a lot, with cute pictures of our family, things that everyone is doing, etc. However, with my track record....we'll see.

Today is "Tax Day" All my work is finished, I'm sitting here, waiting to help anyone who needs it at any moment - praise God. It's hard to work so hard for so long and then to sit at your desk with little to do. What I find unimaginable is that people worked so many more hours than me this year - and yet, I felt completely pushed to the max with all of the time I spent away from my favorite things and people - namely, God, Sean, and Incarnate Word Life Teen. About three or four weeks ago I considered another job in the private sector (see note below about "stopping the pain"), however, as much as I hate tax season, I do appreciate the people I work with, it's just been a rough season. And I think because I finally understand more of the process, I'm much more valuable to our firm, as well as much more utilized for the work that is available. Hopefully this pays off financially when it is time for my yearly review - however, Sean and I are eternally grateful to have jobs, and to be working.

Which, while I'm counting my blessings, Sean has a wonderful job at a brokerage firm!! He got the job in January, just around my birthday was when he interviewed, and then started Jan. 26th. Praise God. He's happy to be using the knowledge he has acquired through years in the industry, and hopeful for a position that provides a higher pay and more responsibility. He has wonderful ideas and is so happy!!

Most of all, it is EASTER!! Praise JESUS!! It is so wonderful to have time to Praise Him during a time when He should most be Praised!! I'm so glad Easter lasts a whole week, especially because tomorrow I'm going to attend daily Mass - something that was difficult to do during the past three months...

Well, that's about it...Easter, Jesus, Sean, Work, Taxes...hopefully soon we'll add babies and pregnancy to that list. :)

Auto-pilot pain

Sorry I haven't been posting in a while sweet readers. It's hard to imagine that last time I was posting was in our old apartment in Chesterfield.

Since then, we've moved to another part of town, become involved in a youth group at Incarnate Word Parish (in Chesterfield, Missouri), welcomed new neighbors, and Sean has started a new and challenging career path.

It's hard for me to believe that I wanted Sean to go into nursing school so much, when it is so difficult and demanding, but I believe that it is characteristic to desire the difficulty to be your own. For instance, I would much rather be sick, or have emergency surgery than to have my husband undergo the same. I don't think this is just a false illusion of toughness, but a desire to protect those we love from suffering. I would despise being in school again, but I would do it if it meant that I didn't have to see Sean so stressful after a long day or before a lab session. He's so smart and so good about it though, he is doing it with a most generous heart, so he can be the sole provider for our future family.

When you're in pain, your body and mind go into auto pilot to make it stop. Sean's been open to any option that would make nursing school no longer be necessary, and part of it is this "backup plan." (Back up plans like becoming a police man or joining the armed services.) Which I personally hate, because it drives me crazy. I like "Plan A" and only "Plan A." However, more often than not, we've used a back up plan, so it's in fairness that we discuss these things.

Lord, please, just help us get through the next 11 months, pass nursing school, and pass the NCLEX.