Child of God Part 2

Driving home from church yesterday, Sean and I were talking about being a child of God and the responsibility it brings....and I mentioned to him how on earth, we love to see good reflected in our children.

If someone tells me that Paul is adorable, they are instantly miles closer to my heart, because they know the truth, and because I'm easily flattered enough to think it is because he gets his blue eyes from me.

However, I am hopeful for the day that someone tells me that Paul is holy, and seeks God with all of his heart. It would all be God's grace, of course, and I did nothing but provide him room in my womb for 9 months...but it says something... as parents, we believe that our children reflect us. Here we are again, knowing that parenthood gives us a small glimpse into God's beautiful heart, and knowing that God wants us to be holy so that we can reflect HIM to the world that so desperately needs Him. So that we can be HIS children that shine and reflect Him...

What privilege, what responsibility.

Child of God

We are blessed to have a wonderful priest and pastor at our parish home of St. Gianna's. Fr. Elliot often refers to the Gospel when encouraging me after confession, and I always find it so helpful to focus for the next week on what he has said.

Today, he reminded me that we are all children of God, which is a great gift, but with that gift, there is a great responsibility to act as a child of God. I have so much to learn, but confession always brings me renewed hope and grace to help me accomplish the great task that God has given me, to help my family get to Heaven...

Fear

What makes us do what we do? What place, if any, does fear have in our lives? So many times I feel consumed with worry - not just about things that I almost feel are natural, like "Will Paul grow up to love Jesus?", but "What does this person think of me?" Why is it that social and peer pressure can't dissapate as we age? I struggled so much with this when I was in high school - and yet parenting and making choices that I feel are right for Paul, Sean and myself has brought it even more to the forefront of my mind, however, there is a solution!

I need to trust in Jesus more - trust that what others think of me is none of my business - and that I need only HIS approval, only HIS love and grace. Ahh. even just looking at this simple reminder helps.

http://pinterest.com/pin/5348093277247604/

January 19, 2012

Beauty.

I love sunrises and sunsets, that I often notice on my drive to work, due to the love of a dear friend, we usually text each other when we see one that is specifically spectacular...I love being reminded of "how big God is" when he shows me his love through the sun and the colors he has created in the sky.

January 18, 2012

I really struggle with submission and following my husband's lead...especially when it comes to my dream of staying at home with Paul and future babies. I ache to leave the little one, and hurry home every day, knowing that I've missed the little moments like his sweet smile, the snuggles, and so much more - but I know that good is coming of me following Sean's faithful lead.

Gratefulness came from a friend who is in a very rough financial situation, and it was hard to hear her wondering if she would be able to get Medicaid for her two precious boys - and I felt as if God was reminding me that I needed to be grateful for the opportunity to work, as well as Sean's desire to have us financially secure...Jesus, thank you for my job, and thank you for the opportunity to learn about obedience and submission through the vocation of marriage.

I want to commit to writing something daily about our life together here on earth. It seems as if it is slipping by so quickly when I see the smile and growth of my 7 month old baby and my precious husband.

One sentence, one moment each day, to reflect.

Today, dearest Jesus, I am thankful for our health. Paul has been sick with a cough that makes each breath seem labored, and I thought yesterday about how you are the Divine Physician, who wants us all to be well, but our own sin, our own sickness takes us away from you. As a parent, I imagine the Heavenly Father aching over my sins the way I ache over each labored breath of Paul's, wishing that he didn't have to endure any pain, but knowing that there is nothing I can do but love him and be available for him.

Sean is sick with an ear infection, only a weekend after being sick with a "regular cold." His temperature is 102. He is in such pain, when I asked if I could do anything for him he said, "just be sweet to me."

Jesus, I am thankful that, to us, these are the "big issues" because it shows how often we have our health and do not need to worry about a thing...and when we are sick, we have good earthly physicians who tend to our needs, and the advancement of medicine that helps us heal.

Paul - at Birth

Dearest sweet child, my Paul. How lovely it was the day that we met you. We had been scheduled to be induced at 8 am on Saturday, May 28th. I had expected this "scheduling" for many weeks due to a complication during pregnancy called gestational diabetes. I was excited to know that I would meet you soon. The same day - our cousin, Fr. John Paul Fogliasso, was to be ordained a priest. I thought, how nice, perhaps Paul will be born on such a lovely day for our friend and cousin, John Paul. However, I kept in the back of my mind that inductions do not always happen speedily - to be honest, perhaps this was God who kept it in my mind - to give me strength for the journey. I was so nervous about childbirth - so worried that something would go wrong, but God provided me many wonderful things, most of all, Jesus and your father, who are always strong when I am weak. So nervous was I that I reminded Sean that if anything should go wrong, to choose the life of my child, to choose YOU Paul, as St. Gianna is a dear role model of mine, and we didn't expect anything to go wrong, but I was so dreadfully nervous.

We didn't know if you were a boy or a girl until your birth. We would talk about it all the time. Will it be a boy? Will it be a girl? We called you "little kicker" in the womb. We loved it when you would kick for us while we cuddled at the end of a long day. Now when I watch you kick, I marvel that God created you in my womb, and allowed me the gift of feeling you all of those months.

Dr. Gosser had been a wonderful doctor throughout our entire pregnancy. As the time approached, he asked again what names we had chosen, and after you arrived, he turned you around and said "It's a Paul!" I was so delighted when they laid you on my chest - you were quite less delighted than I. I couldn't believe that God had entrusted me with a little baby boy. What a joy! I was a mother with a child on the outside! After ten or fifteen minutes, they weighed you, measured you, and determined that you needed a little formula to raise your blood sugar. Daddy was so delighted to be able to feed you that bottle.

You were born on the Lord's Day, Sunday. How fitting, we were thanking God for your life on the day that He gave us new life and freedom from our sins. You arrived at 10:57 am, May 29th, 2011, weighing 8 pounds, 6 ounces, and 22 inches long. Your eyes were blue (they still are today!), and you had enough hair to know that it was slightly red. I love looking at each feature of yours.

I was thrilled to start calling people and telling them that our Paul Christopher was born. We had called you "Baby Keys" for so long. So many lovingly responded with joy and congratulations - we felt so warm and welcomed by the family of God - and so blessed by God himself.

I love holding you. I love just remembering how small you were, and how hours, and days before you had been in my womb. God overflowed my heart with gratefulness. I am so blessed by the gift of who you are.

Your daddy was stuck with a "perm-a-grin" for at least the first 48 hours of your life. He could not stop smiling - it was wonderful to watch, great to witness him coming into his fatherhood with so much joy. Even that first week of you being home, we would each rush to change your diaper, to hold you a smidge longer - it was so good to welcome you into our family.

Here is your dad, always grateful for the photo opportunity that allowed him to hold you.

We were fully aware that our duty as Catholic parents involved us teaching you about Jesus. What a gift that we get to share with you, and what a true responsibility! We love so many things about your name - Paul - for a wonderful saint who spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the nations, for a wonderful man that you know as your "Grandad" - Paul Pumphrey, who is a hard worker and a wonderful soul, for your Aunt Paula, who is a tender, loving sister to me, and a great mother herself. Christopher - "Christ Bearer", and your father's middle name - may you grow to be like him.

Our first week at home, Dad didn't have to go to work, so we filled our days holding you, and reading you some of the works of your namesake, St. Paul.

Your first car ride, besides coming home from the hospital, was to visit Jesus in the Eucharist. It was a delight to introduce you, and to thank Him for the gift that you are to us. We cannot imagine life without you.