Paul - at Birth

Dearest sweet child, my Paul. How lovely it was the day that we met you. We had been scheduled to be induced at 8 am on Saturday, May 28th. I had expected this "scheduling" for many weeks due to a complication during pregnancy called gestational diabetes. I was excited to know that I would meet you soon. The same day - our cousin, Fr. John Paul Fogliasso, was to be ordained a priest. I thought, how nice, perhaps Paul will be born on such a lovely day for our friend and cousin, John Paul. However, I kept in the back of my mind that inductions do not always happen speedily - to be honest, perhaps this was God who kept it in my mind - to give me strength for the journey. I was so nervous about childbirth - so worried that something would go wrong, but God provided me many wonderful things, most of all, Jesus and your father, who are always strong when I am weak. So nervous was I that I reminded Sean that if anything should go wrong, to choose the life of my child, to choose YOU Paul, as St. Gianna is a dear role model of mine, and we didn't expect anything to go wrong, but I was so dreadfully nervous.

We didn't know if you were a boy or a girl until your birth. We would talk about it all the time. Will it be a boy? Will it be a girl? We called you "little kicker" in the womb. We loved it when you would kick for us while we cuddled at the end of a long day. Now when I watch you kick, I marvel that God created you in my womb, and allowed me the gift of feeling you all of those months.

Dr. Gosser had been a wonderful doctor throughout our entire pregnancy. As the time approached, he asked again what names we had chosen, and after you arrived, he turned you around and said "It's a Paul!" I was so delighted when they laid you on my chest - you were quite less delighted than I. I couldn't believe that God had entrusted me with a little baby boy. What a joy! I was a mother with a child on the outside! After ten or fifteen minutes, they weighed you, measured you, and determined that you needed a little formula to raise your blood sugar. Daddy was so delighted to be able to feed you that bottle.

You were born on the Lord's Day, Sunday. How fitting, we were thanking God for your life on the day that He gave us new life and freedom from our sins. You arrived at 10:57 am, May 29th, 2011, weighing 8 pounds, 6 ounces, and 22 inches long. Your eyes were blue (they still are today!), and you had enough hair to know that it was slightly red. I love looking at each feature of yours.

I was thrilled to start calling people and telling them that our Paul Christopher was born. We had called you "Baby Keys" for so long. So many lovingly responded with joy and congratulations - we felt so warm and welcomed by the family of God - and so blessed by God himself.

I love holding you. I love just remembering how small you were, and how hours, and days before you had been in my womb. God overflowed my heart with gratefulness. I am so blessed by the gift of who you are.

Your daddy was stuck with a "perm-a-grin" for at least the first 48 hours of your life. He could not stop smiling - it was wonderful to watch, great to witness him coming into his fatherhood with so much joy. Even that first week of you being home, we would each rush to change your diaper, to hold you a smidge longer - it was so good to welcome you into our family.

Here is your dad, always grateful for the photo opportunity that allowed him to hold you.

We were fully aware that our duty as Catholic parents involved us teaching you about Jesus. What a gift that we get to share with you, and what a true responsibility! We love so many things about your name - Paul - for a wonderful saint who spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the nations, for a wonderful man that you know as your "Grandad" - Paul Pumphrey, who is a hard worker and a wonderful soul, for your Aunt Paula, who is a tender, loving sister to me, and a great mother herself. Christopher - "Christ Bearer", and your father's middle name - may you grow to be like him.

Our first week at home, Dad didn't have to go to work, so we filled our days holding you, and reading you some of the works of your namesake, St. Paul.

Your first car ride, besides coming home from the hospital, was to visit Jesus in the Eucharist. It was a delight to introduce you, and to thank Him for the gift that you are to us. We cannot imagine life without you.

Paul - 1 week

Paul,

We are so grateful you are HERE!! What a complete joy it is to have a newborn in the house. Your daddy and I are completely smitten. Yes, we even argue about who gets to change your diaper. "No, it's okay, I'll do it!"

We just love you so much. We've written down things about your birth, taken pictures almost every day, and made little visits to Jesus to tell him how grateful we are for you. We've read you stories about St. Paul from the bible. It seems as if we can't get enough of you at all. We're still working on the best way to get you fed - nursing has been a challenge, but worth it.

Tonight we are going to visit Jesus's house again, but this time for the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass... what joy. We'll also get to meet Fr. Vowels, who will be the priest to baptise you (and the one who will insist that we change your name to Timothy.).

Okay, so I didn't ever finish this post, but, better a memory saved than missed. Love you PK.

38 weeks

Dearest Bebe-

Did you think I'd forgotten about this little blog? Don't worry, I haven't. It's kind of normal for your Momma to think about doing important things, and just not do them. What has been happening for our little family since I last wrote? Well, first of all, our wonderful doctor, Dr. Gosser, had me go in for a "routine test." Unfortunately, the result wasn't routine, and it turns out that we have Gestational Diabetes. You see, your Grandad has diabetes, and it was diagnosed when I was born. Ahh. I was so nervous. God had His hand on us though, and the diabetes became a way to praise God throughout Lent for the gift of life, even though we didn't have the normal fasting requirements, we had unique nutritional requirements, and eventually we added insulin shots to the mix. I don't want to complain at all, because this experience has been a great way for me to really focus on the type of food that I'm putting in my body, reminding myself that food is for fuel, not solely just for pleasure. It's also been a great experience in what Grandad has been experiencing for the past 27 years of my life, a worry, the mood swings, the unpredictibility of it all, and although it brought us even closer; what a gift.

Daddy and I still find it hard to believe how big you have grown inside of me. Pictures will help us remember that it wasn't always this way, and I hope that you'll want some photos of what you looked like while you were inside; so here you go.

This is you at 20 weeks - on January 16, 2010. We were trying on clothes at a Maternity store, as I was just starting to not fit in anything I owned!

This is Daddy and I on February 5, 2011- You were growing!! This would have been 23 weeks!

This is on your Dad's birthday, March 17, 2011 - we had just been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes, but it is always a good day to celebrate how wonderful your father is! Close to 29 weeks!

This is at a friend's wedding (and your first wedding!) on April 30, 2011. Here you are about 35 weeks, and pictured with Michelle Claudin, who was Michelle Raymond at the time!
I'm trying to think of other things I want to remember... you have been so deeply blessed with the people around us who love us. I was surprised with a baby shower at Lopata - it was such a blessing. People joined their gifts together, gave wonderful advice, and even went the extra mile to make sure that there were some appropriate treats avaiable for me to eat. We recieved all of the things that we "really needed" in case you came early, like a car seat, a crib mattress, and your infant monitor.

Just a few weeks later, your wonderful Grandma Vickie threw a family shower for us at her house, and we received even more delightful gifts, lots of outfits (of course, mostly yellow, because we still don't know everything about you, including your gender!), two strollers, another car seat. Grandma June was able to come visit for the weekend, and it was a great gift to have her present for the shower and for a whole weekend. She loves you so much and it is just wonderful to have her around.

Other things to remember...

- We love to feel you kick and move. We call you often "the little kicker" and Daddy asks daily how you're doing and if you're kicking enough.
- Because of the diabetes, we will most likely induce labor. We've been taking childbirth classes called "the Bradley Method" which discourages this, but we have done our research and feel like it is medically necessary...I've tried so often not to stress or get worried about labor and delivery, and your father constantly reminds me that he loves us and will take care of us, no matter what happens in the delivery room.

- Your cousin, Savannah Marie Skidmore, was born on May 13th - it's great to know that you will share a birthday month with a cousin. Of course, it makes me wish we lived closer to all of the Skidmore's, but God will provide for us in letting our hearts be close, even if our bodies aren't.

- We went to your first ever Cardinal's game on May 19th vs. the Astro's - the Cardinal's won, 4-2.

- We keep wondering who you will look like. Of course, Grandad says that you will look like yourself, and a scrunched up little newborn. He is anxious to see you get chubby. Daddy would like it if you inherited my blue eyes, but I think that brown eyes would be beautiful too.

Dearest child, I love you so much. Thank you for coming on this journey of life, we are so grateful and so excited to meet you. I am nervous about being a good mother - I know you deserve so many things, and I will fail at being like Mary, Our Mother, but I hope to grow and improve each day so that I may teach you of the love of Christ, who loves us more than we could imagine.

Love,

Momma

Bebe - 20 weeks

Dearest little love - this week you are as long as banana (from head to heel), and weigh about 10 and 1/2 ounces. Also, this is the "half-way" mark of pregnancy, assuming you come after cooking for 40 weeks.



I just wanted to remind you of how blessed you are, even in the womb. This week was my birthday, your momma is now 27 years old, and I was surrounded with support and love - amazed at all the people who really love me, and who can't wait to meet you.



First of all, there is your Daddy. I really could go on for days about his love, but here are some specific ways that he was extra helpful and caring this week.

• He made extravagant plans to take me out for my birthday to a lovely Italian restaurant. In the future perhaps you will understand the way your father and I have worked very hard to be frugal so that we can provide the lifestyle we want for you - one that includes a home and security in the Lord - but he was willing to put aside his preferences to eat every meal outside of the house for under $10-15 and make reservations at a place that we assume would have cost at least $50 for one nice meal. It is times like this that make me realize the wisdom in "it is the thought that counts." Truly, money is tight, and we are anxious to live differently so that we can do things we have previously only dreamed of, but the way your father was going to set aside his fears of the future, his fears about not having enough money, so warmed my heart. It was honestly so loving of him to sacrifice himself in this way, my heart was just overflowing. In previous years, perhaps i would have enjoyed a night spending money to celebrate my birth, but I decided (with help of my great love for Mexican food) to suggest eating at a local Mexican restaurant in order to be "more relaxed" as well as a bit more comfortable and "in step" on a Friday night. But your father's love was impeccable. He gladly let me choose a place to eat - and luckily, we both had a delicious dinner.


• While we still don't know if you're a boy or a girl, this might be hard to fathom that men don't like shopping much. Your father is no exception, however, on Saturday, he kindly sat through me trying on at least 25 items of clothing, to kindly critique each piece as if it would be suitable for me to wear to work for the next twenty weeks. His love has made him a very good student, and therefore he knows even better sometimes than I, what I will enjoy wearing, what I will pick out of my closet time and time again. His knowledge was completely useful in wading through the items in the store that would be useful, relevant, and work appropriate. He was so kind in delivering his wisdom, so as not to hurt my sometimes waning self esteem. Daddy is a good man.


• While he doesn't like shopping, your sweet father has been helping me find the perfect business shoe. Being 5'8, I strive to wear flats most of the time in the office, and my shoes had worn out. We had already tried at least three stores together, and your father had been looking at shoes on other women's feet for at least three weeks, when on Sunday, today, he suggested we go in yet another store. His desire to save money and find a good product doesn't stop him from wanting to find the "right product" - indeed, I tried on at least 8 pairs of shoes looking for something that was reasonable in price and would work well in the office. He is so helpful at the store, letting me know what he thinks, what works best, and when to move on to the next pair of shoes. You will be so blessed by this desire to save money - because I believe it will directly benefit you in the ways of financial freedom, intelligence, and independence in the future. You are blessed and will be blessed.


• We are always searching for a good job for your father, and even when we spend time reading in a bookstore, he is looking for books that will increase his knowledge, give him ideas for the future, and help him, generally in the investing and business section of the store. I gravitate towards the section of the store that relates to you, my dearest little, pregnancy, childbirth, and other relational activities. Sometimes we are so very typically "male and female" as God made us. On Sunday, however, we were talking about the process of birth, and how it will be important to be a team on the day you come into the world, and he gladly read three chapters of a midwifery book to help himself prepare. I'm so blessed!! You're so blessed!!

You have a wonderful father, I'm so excited for you to meet him. This week we also had an ultrasound at the Dr's office. Your Mimi came with us, it was so great to share the miracle of you with her - she's so kind and sweet. I'm "finally" beginning to feel your movements, which is such a blessing, each time it is a little reassurance that you're doing well, and I'm so grateful for that.

On January 20th, your cousin, Ignatius James was born. It was such an exciting story that is all his and his families, but it makes me more excited and more ready to have you come and be with us. Your daddy was so good at holding little Ignatius, I couldn't help but think of the moments when he will be holding you, making sure that you can hear his heart beat so that you're assured someone is with you at all times. God is so faithful! We also learned your Uncle Zach and Aunt Aubree are planning on moving to Australia, we will pray often for their hearts and their great adventure.

I love you little one, and I can't wait to meet you!

Love,

Momma